The Summer We've Had by Katherine Blakeman

Author:Katherine Blakeman [Blakeman, Katherine]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Goodreads: 63220727
Published: 2023-01-13T23:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Cass

For a minute, Cass was rendered speechless. She had no idea what to say in the face of such a declaration. Her mind was racing, but at the forefront of it was YES! YES, YES, YESSSSSSS! Shortly followed by… Whaaaaaaaaat?????

“You… love me?” she faltered.

“Mm-hmm.”

“I… I didn’t know. I…”

“And before you say anything, I know it wouldn’t be able to go anywhere.” Heather’s fists were clenched at her sides. “I know you’re not out, as bi and ace. And I couldn’t date a closeted person – it’s one of my boundaries. Not in the least because I couldn’t bear to out you before you’re ready – if you’re ever ready. So that’s why I said forget it. Forget I said anything. Okay? Let’s just remain friends, and-”

“Hang on. Hang on! Who said I wasn’t ready to come out?”

“You. A few weeks ago, when we went on that picnic.”

Cass opened and shut her mouth. She knew that to say that she’d changed her mind in those short weeks might seem over-eager and unrealistic. So she nodded slowly and said, “Yeah, that is true.”

Heather nodded back, tight-lipped. She seemed to be swallowing something back, and Cass looked at her curiously. She caught Cass’s eye and quickly looked away, then burst out, “But God, I wish you were!”

Cass’s jaw dropped. Heather tried to laugh, but Cass could see the tell-tale signs of a woman about to cry. She wasn’t laughing at all. She was deadly serious. The knowledge that she had caused that pain, directly or indirectly, cut straight to her heart, and so she nodded towards the gate. “Shall we go home?”

They started picking their way down the hill again. At one point, Cass stumbled and clutched at Heather’s arm. She kept her hand there. Her way of saying I hear you, and I’m sorry. She cursed herself the whole way home, but decided to save the real deep thinking for when she was in her own home again.

“I’ll have a think, I promise. I might… I might be ready,” she said when the time came for them to part ways. She withdrew her hand, then reached out and touched Heather’s fingertips on one hand with her own. Just the lightest of touches. When she looked at her face, she could see that Heather looked close to crying again.

“Don’t play with my heart,” Heather whispered, barely audibly. She spoke so softly that Cass wondered if it was Daniella speaking, or co-fronting. “Don’t leave us hanging. It’s not just me you’re affecting, but all of us.”

With that last sentence ringing in her ears, Cass went inside and shut the door. She threw herself down on the sofa and shut her eyes. That proved to be a mistake, as all she could see on the backs of her eyelids was Heather’s face, painted with naked vulnerability.

“Okay,” she said aloud. “Time to be really honest with myself. What do I want?”

Heather. Her mind answered her immediately. Specifically, a relationship with Heather.

“Yes, but what about the others?” She spoke aloud again.

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